10-9-09

--------If my bowel movements felt like orgasms then dropping a deuce would be a lot like Ultimate Alliance 2.

--------What do I mean? Well sinking the Bismark is a perfunctory function. I mean seriously, we’ve been pooping since our time in the womb, we do it all our lives, it’s about as automatic a function is breathing or urinating. This seems to be the basic design philosophy behind Ultimate Alliance 2. Like X-men Legends, X-men Legends 2 and Marvel Ultimate Alliance the game play is nearly identical, but the character customization has been further simplified.

--------Some of you may recall there was a host of powers in the XML series, many of which were useless. MUA2 did away with all of those, each character has 4 active powers and about 8 passive effects that either make them tougher, enhance their powers or provide some other benefit. Essentially if you level enough, you will max out all your powers and if you break open every last box and container you will max out the passive powers (You see they use difference currency to increase, one comes from leveling, the other from the MUA equivalent of money.)

--------Still the game is a lot of fun. An orgasmic amount of fun. So you see what I mean by orgasmic bowel movements. They phoned in the game design based on the previous models, but because it’s super fun running around as The Hulk pummeling things in to dust, the game still delivers.

--------Some particular highlights would be Thor, The Hulk, Dead Pool, Wolverine and Miss Marvel. Each of these heroes are well made, super fun to use and it can be very rewarding clearing a room full of bad guys with them.

--------Some disappointments: Spider-Man, Iron Man, The Thing, Ice Man and Green Goblin. In terms of playability they are lacking, and are not quite able to fulfill a role of say, Room Clearer or Boss Killer or even Tank. Luke Cage makes a better tank than the Thing…this seems a crime to me.

--------The other annoying thing about the game is the female character dimensions are so freaking unrealistically awesome that after using one for about 20 minutes you will have the urge to make passionate love to your significant other, or rub one out if you are single so make sure you have your carbs and zinc in your diet.

--------All in all this game is fun, and probably has replay value for about 4 or 5 times of full play through, which can take about 4-5 days. A permanent collection to my game library as I love the Marvel Super heroes but hard core gamers may tune out or be disappointed with the lack of extras and the ease of completion.

--------So there you have it. A perfunctory orgasm of a game, but really, is any orgasm bad?