--------You see, I consider the saga of the Sakarrson to be just short of Frank Miller’s seminal Dark Knight Returns. Now some purists of the DKR will find this statement appalling but it is none the less how I feel. Planet Hulk gave a new perspective and Growth to the Hulk in a similar fashion that DKR did to Batman.

--------However the core of Planet Hulk is a bit more of a derivative story, placing Hulk as a slave in a strange new world where he’s forced to fight as a Gladiator. The tale is actually quite Sparticus like so it looses some points for originality compared to the DKR but when you think about this, the story is perfect for the Hulk. I mean he’s the Hulk, he smashes, bashes, punches things in the brain, that’s the character’s core strength so a story that pits him as a gladiator plays to the character’s central strength…his super badass kickassery. That’s not to say the tale is just pages and pages of Hulk smashing, though there is plenty of that, the Hulk is surrounded by a strong supporting cast of characters each with their own tale of dishonor and shame.

Where Sparticus was more of a revenge tale, or even a cautionary tale of be careful who you fuck with, Planet Hulk is actually a redemption story, with a very subtle warning, “Don’t try to be something your not.”

--------Sadly not all of this comes through in the one hour twenty minute adaptation by Lions gate.

--------The fighting is a plenty, the red kind is still despicable but I think to take the adult themed Planet Hulk and bring it to a family friendly presentation some cuts had to be made and unfortunately the cuts come at the subtlety of the original story.

--------Hulk is a bit different in this film than original tale, one of the supporting cast is completely vacant. The Character Hiroim the Shamed is not nearly as badass and potent as high comic counterpart, the significant changes that Miek goes through are completely absent and much of the bonding of Hulk and his Warbound party are sped through in the interest of time.

--------Perhaps the greatest robbery is the relationship between Ciera and Hulk, the rivalry is there but the third act, the spike invasion is sped through so quickly that we never really have a chance to witness Hulk’s army growing (in fact it does not exist) and his war on the Red King. Rather we get a speedy way to drive to resolution and conclusion. Some of the new material is good, the battle between Hulk and the Red King is appropriately epic but they did take away from a large portion of the Comic’s strengths in the alterations and the resolution removes the single largest impact to the Hulk since, well ever.

--------One very positive change was a substitution in one of Hulk’s enemies. In the comic book, a certain Herald of Galactus was captured and made to fight Hulk. In doing a little research, apparently Beta Ray bill had to be subbed for the surfer due to legal reasons. Apparently because Marvel were stupid whores and sold all their property to anyone buying, Fox owns Surfer and Surfer related surferness. Lion's gate of course not being Fox, therefore could not use surfer so they dug in to the well spring for unowned Marvel Bad Asses and Beta Ray Bill came up. This animated tale goes back to Korg’s backs story and how they had come to earth many years prior but were driven off by the Thundergod. This still happens but said Thundergod was aided by his adopted brother, a certain favorite of mine. Well long story short, Bill wasn’t done kicking the stone people’s asses and chased them back from where they came when the same anomaly that pulled hulk and much of Sakarr’s visitors to the planet, grabbed Beta Ray Bill.

--------What works is that Lion’s gate really knows how to handle Thor vs. Hulk matchups. In their Ultimate Avengers movie, the Thor v Hulk matchup was the highlight of the film and Hulk vs. Beta Ray Bill is no less epic the two go at it with reckless abandon and the result is a very satisfying battle, frankly more satisfying than Hulk vs. the Red King.
So that was one change that worked.

--------In summary, Planet Hulk is an entertaining animated film, and even cursory fans of the Marvel verse will enjoy it. Planet Hulk comic purists will probably bitch and moan about the changes but that is mostly due to an overwhelmingly large presence of sand in their vaginas, and I get it. Sand in your vagina is uncomfortable, it’s course, it’s rough, it gets in everything but the fact of the matter is you fucking cry babies, you can wash out your vagina and the problem goes away. Or you can keep cramming sand in it, get upset that there’s sand there and bitch up a storm but lets face it, you packed the sand in there or at least had a hand in it by rubbing your vagina repeatedly against the sand for hours on end.

--------Sure you didn’t make the beach but you sure as fuck crammed it right up your vagina by going there repeatedly.

--------So there you go fuckers. Planet Hulk. Read it. Love it. Then watch it, and Like it.

-Marc